You wanna know how to get your house sparkly clean, right? Well, thank goodness I'm perfect, otherwise I might not be able to enlighten you with my Top 10 Ways to Get Your House Clean Quick:
(Just ignore her - she's bitter because I'm an expert.)Photo Credit
1. The Funky Smell - Nothin' says, "clean me now!" like a funky smell. Is it the dishes that have been sitting in the sink for (murmur, murmur, whisper, cough) [insert heinously long amount of time]? Is it the clothes that I accidentally left in the washer overnight...2 nights ago? I don't know - let's just clean the whole house.
2. Watch Hoarders - That's all I need to say.
3. The "Really Important Project" - Have someone task you with something you know you'll dread doing. A project for work, a favor for someone you don't like...I don't know, you're clever, you'll think of something. I find house-cleaning to be extremely procrastinatious because sometimes it sucks less than that other thing you need to do.
4. Fight Night - You know what makes me some women do dishes (really loudly), fold clothes (really loudly), clean bathrooms (really loudly), and generally buzz about the house like the cleaning fairy (really loudly)? Domestic disagreements. That's right, gals, pick a fight, get a clean house! *Poof* It's like friggin' magic!
5. Nesting - Want a spotless house? All you have to do is get pregnant...and wait about 7 months for the nesting instincts to kick in. Ready, set, go!