faking?

are you faking it?

Over on Scary Mommy they have a Guest Blogger today.

here is just an small piece.

We do the dishes more often and our piled of laundry doesn’t teeter as high as it used to.
Still there are things that plague me; things that continue to make me feel as though I am only playing at being a parent.

When he does something brand new and rebellious, I often have to fight not to laugh.

Sometimes, I don’t really want him to go to bed because we’re having too much fun and I don’t want to ruin it.

Other times, I really want him to go to bed so I can have some fun that doesn’t involve me scraping food off the walls.

I don’t really feel all that parental. Part of me imagined that once I became a mother I’d lose all touch with pop culture, snark and things that were in anyway disorganized.

But I haven’t changed that much. My hair didn’t whip itself up into a bun upon conception.

Instead, I’m wandering around in my pajamas at 4 pm. I’m scanning VH1 to see if I can get away with watching a countdown instead of Yo Gabba Gabba. Wracked with guilt at the idea of letting Alex know who the #1 celebrity train wreck of 2010 is, I choose instead to dance and shimmy with DJ Lance Rock. But I’m not always happy about it. Just like I’m not always sure how or when to reprimand him.

go and read the rest here